©bigjettardis


smilingslowly:

spookywhiteghost:

fuckinglesbian:

princessnausicaa:

my mom tried to teach our goats to pee in one certain spot by giving them treats when they’d pee in that spot

except that

they think that now whenever they pee they get a treat

so whenever they see my mom

they pee

 laughed for a solid five minutes

behaviorism gone wrong

Pavlov is laughing in his grave






carcinogenitals:

my neighbors are making s’mores and i heard one of them shout “HOLY SHIT IT’S ON FIRE” then a s’more smacked onto my window and slowly fell down






waywardchappy:

I always read FAQ as fack and I don’t plan on changing this


source:wizardick
posted 3 hours ago






psyducker:

do u ever lie on ur side and a small tear leaks out and ur just like whoa wtf body I know I’m sad but not that sad


source:babedwire
posted 3 hours ago






Anonymous:
Why does Chris Evans always grab his left boob when he laughs?

officialchelso:

Hello, anon, and thank you for the question.

This topic has been studied by researchers for years. There are three prevailing theories that I will relay to you now.

1. It keeps him on the ground.

image

You may notice in the gif above that Chris’ leg starts to rise as he laughs, possibly a precursor to his entire body undergoing a sort of lift off due to his joy. Chris then employs his upper body strength to force himself to obey the laws of gravity.

2. To check on his physique.

image

As you may be aware, anon, it takes a lot of hard work to maintain a superhero body. Chris is concerned that in the time he has spent sitting down, sans working out or eating, he has lost muscle mass. Understandably, he feels the need to make sure that he is still a specimen.

3. Object permanence.

image

Object permanence is a term applied to the understanding that an object still exists even when you cannot see it. Chris closes his eyes when he laughs, making him unable to see that he has not disappeared. By grabbing his left boob, Chris knows that he has not somehow ceased to exist.

I hope this helps.


posted 3 hours ago







posted 3 hours ago






unclefather:

brokendildo:

what if u were laying in bed and then stretched ur hand up and something hi5’d u

i’d move to a different continent because i don’t fuckin play like that


posted 3 hours ago






gayseawitch:

lorenzomakesthings:

ranagazoo:

saint-bmo:

anachronizomai:

myfightcomesintothelight:

"You’re the straightest gay guy I kn-"

Don’t.

"You’re not like those other gay people who go to those awful pride para-"

No.

"You’re gay? Then why don’t you hit on me or other gu-"

No.

"I have this other gay friend, you’d be a perfect cou-"

No.

"At least you act norm-"
Stop.

"I’m straight but would you suck my dick for 20 dol-"

Maybe


posted 3 hours ago






krudman:

ishicosplay:

Clem Clem Clemmy Clem Clementine  Selfie hoo ha

I legit went wide eyed. Fantastic work on the ink marks.

krudman:

ishicosplay:

Clem Clem Clemmy Clem Clementine
Selfie hoo ha

I legit went wide eyed. Fantastic work on the ink marks.


posted 3 hours ago






pospiscal:

trying to comfort a friend
image